Bee Fall

January 14, 2008

By Buzz Marketeer

From the Central Hive

My Mission: To help you bee all you can bee. (But I’m warning you; it's gonna sting like a mutha!)

Buzz here again, gang. I know, it’s been far too long since I checked in with you. My apologies, but this time I wasn’t just out saving some poor shlub from gettin’ a baby grand dropped on his noggin. That would’ve given “B flat” a whole new meaning, eh?

Anyway, I’ve been wing deep tryin’ to help some dear friends who are in heap big trouble. See, last Spring my pal Biz phoned me up. He was pretty worked up. With him it doesn’t take much. He’s kinda uppity, but I’d already been keepin’ watch on what was happening with honeybees around the world dying off. Maybe you’ve heard about it. Yeah, they’re in some thick soup, friends. They’re callin’ it something like Colony Collapse Syndrome. No. Disorder...Colony Collapse Disorder. Something’s taking ‘em out in big numbers and nobody’s got a clue why, so they called me to get my massive brain workin’ on a way to put a stop to this massive pain in the hive. And I gotta bee honest. This one’s been kickin’ my butt.

So, we’re gonna need to work together guys. I mean, we got bees leavin’ home and not coming back...ever. It’s like the ol’ “roach motels. Do you remember those? Roaches check in but they don’t check out. In this case the bees check out, but they never come back. Beekeepers and lab coats are sayin’ my pals are getting confused and disoriented, then can’t find their way home, so they end up droppin’ like flies (no offense guys). Reminds me of my young and foolish days after chuggin’ down too much of that dew brew. You know how you have “Don’t drink and drive”? Well, we have “Fly Dry.” Ah, good times, but those days are long gone. Nah, it’s definitely better to bee mature about things. And I use the term “mature” lightly. I mean, you gotta have a screw loose to run around in this getup. But seriously folks, we’ve gotta roll up our sleeves to nip this thing in the bud, so as much as I love jabber jawin’ with you all, I gotta get back to work.

In my next installment I’ll fill you in with what YOU can do to help.

That's all for now, friends. From the Central Hive, this is Buzz Marketeer signing off. Stay tuned and stay close.