Bee Taxed

April 15, 2008

By Buzz Marketeer

From the Central Hive

My Mission: To help you bee all you can bee. (But I’m warning you; it's gonna sting like a mutha!)


Whoa Nellie! You folks know what day this is, dontcha? You there, soppin' up your umpteenth malt liquor, don't fret. Sure, Uncle Sam took all your money, but this year the joke's on him cuz the dollar ain't worth what it was this time last year. But with any luck, things will take an upturn, not continue the slide South. Sure, there's more doom and gloomers out there than you can shake a stick at, but faithful ones, remember Who loves ya baby! For those of you who were crumb crunchers in the mid-seventies, that was Kojak's favorite line. So, what's new and exciting with Buzz you ask? Well folks, I'm sure most of you have been following the Presidential race coverage. I'm proud that my hive is full of the smart and observant of all the bees. We work hard...well, some of us. Well, waiting is hard work and let me say in my own defense that there's a lot of deep thinking that goes on during that long wait for Queenie to choose her beau. I know, I know...it's a "one flight stand"...and in this case I'm glad I missed out on all the fun. Anyhoo, so all the buzz is about this Obama character. Just let me say that generally speakin', when all the buzzin' stops, that's when the honey either tastes it's sweetest or is just a big mass of worthless, tasteless goo. Sure, a lotta folks have been lured in by the sweet taste, but they best bee careful not to get stung when they reach in for the goods.

So, I could use your input on Buzz's next adventure...and it's a big one. My alter-ego, Jas, is finally gettin' the gumption to get a movin' on some of his greatest passions in life. Well, let's hope he's serious this time. No doubt he's got plenty of ideas and he's got the ideals to keep him centered. Anyway, he wants me, Buzz Marketeer, to bee his marketing arm. Yeah, he thinks I'd do a good job at promoting not only his ideas, but also putting my seal of approval on ideas that promote the things we both stand for...the things that originally made this country great...those things that the Creator Bee deems worthy of fighting for. All this will be happenin' either at buzzmarketeer.com or at beethemiracle.com. I have to say, I was pretty flattered about the offer, which is sure to bring me the kind of fame I truly deserve and give Jas a great outlet. I think we'll be highlighting a lot of the people and ideas that really drive people to be their very best and to help others believe and achieve theirs. Well folks, it's time for me to get me some shut-eye now. Been a long day at the Central Hive. Lots of buzzin' goin' on these days. Much work to do and too few willing to step up and let their voices bee heard. So, I'll bee steady at the wheel until we get safely to the other side.

So, reporting from the Central Hive for your reading pleasure, this is Buzz Marketeer signing off for now. But stay tuned for more, exciting newzzzzz!

Buzz

Bee Fall

January 14, 2008

By Buzz Marketeer

From the Central Hive

My Mission: To help you bee all you can bee. (But I’m warning you; it's gonna sting like a mutha!)

Buzz here again, gang. I know, it’s been far too long since I checked in with you. My apologies, but this time I wasn’t just out saving some poor shlub from gettin’ a baby grand dropped on his noggin. That would’ve given “B flat” a whole new meaning, eh?

Anyway, I’ve been wing deep tryin’ to help some dear friends who are in heap big trouble. See, last Spring my pal Biz phoned me up. He was pretty worked up. With him it doesn’t take much. He’s kinda uppity, but I’d already been keepin’ watch on what was happening with honeybees around the world dying off. Maybe you’ve heard about it. Yeah, they’re in some thick soup, friends. They’re callin’ it something like Colony Collapse Syndrome. No. Disorder...Colony Collapse Disorder. Something’s taking ‘em out in big numbers and nobody’s got a clue why, so they called me to get my massive brain workin’ on a way to put a stop to this massive pain in the hive. And I gotta bee honest. This one’s been kickin’ my butt.

So, we’re gonna need to work together guys. I mean, we got bees leavin’ home and not coming back...ever. It’s like the ol’ “roach motels. Do you remember those? Roaches check in but they don’t check out. In this case the bees check out, but they never come back. Beekeepers and lab coats are sayin’ my pals are getting confused and disoriented, then can’t find their way home, so they end up droppin’ like flies (no offense guys). Reminds me of my young and foolish days after chuggin’ down too much of that dew brew. You know how you have “Don’t drink and drive”? Well, we have “Fly Dry.” Ah, good times, but those days are long gone. Nah, it’s definitely better to bee mature about things. And I use the term “mature” lightly. I mean, you gotta have a screw loose to run around in this getup. But seriously folks, we’ve gotta roll up our sleeves to nip this thing in the bud, so as much as I love jabber jawin’ with you all, I gotta get back to work.

In my next installment I’ll fill you in with what YOU can do to help.

That's all for now, friends. From the Central Hive, this is Buzz Marketeer signing off. Stay tuned and stay close.